Saturday, July 4, 2009

Chronic Guilt

What we commonly refer to as 'chronic guilt' could more accurately be described as 'habituated guilt' or 'patterns of guilt'. Because 'chronic' almost implies illness or disease; something we have no control over.

When it comes to guilt, nothing could be further from the truth.

No one is born with feelings of guilt. Guilt must be learned. Over time, it becomes habituate. Which means patterns become laid in the subconscious. Usually this happens in childhood, but the 'chronic guilt' can last a lifetime if no steps are taken to end it.

But before it can be ended, you first need to understand why you might want to keep it around. Even though you were taught and conditioned to feel guilt, you're also getting something out of your guilt. It serves a purpose. It provides a payoff.

When you understand your payoff for feeling guilty, you've just taken the first step to ending it.

In a general sense, we use guilt as a way to avoid the intensity of our own feelings. It's a way to avoid the responsibility of feeling our true feelings.

More specifically, guilt often comes down to anger we don't have a right to have. Somebody gives you a hard time. And darn it - they're right. You're wrong. Rather than feeling the anger that naturally arises - you feel guilty instead. That's one example.

When it comes to chronic guilt - you find yourself continuously creating scenarios where it seems the most appropriate response involves feeling guilty. It becomes a pattern.

You keep finding yourself in situations that 'make' you feel guilty. The settings may change - the people may change - but the energy behind the guilt goes on and on.

"Why in the world do I keep feeling guilty??!", you may ask.

The answer lies with two factors:

1. Your payoff; what you secretly 'get' out of feeling guilty rather than feeling your true, intense feelings that lie beneath the guilt.

Often it's simply a fear of intensity... and a fear of feelings in general. So your payoff would be avoidance - avoiding your own intensity.

2. Your subconscious patterns; which become neurological pathways of 'least effort'.

Just as it's often easier to take the interstate when you wish to visit another city, so it's easier to feel guilt rather than to relish and savor the depths of your true feelings.

Not because guilt is inherently easier. It's not. Quite the opposite, in fact. Guilt took a lot of effort. It never comes naturally. You had to work at it over and over and over.

Guilt took practice. It also required a teacher. You had to be molded and shaped and formed.

Since the training to feel guilt began so early in life, you may remember very little of it. But it's important to keep in mind: your brain started as 'virgin territory'... just waiting for those pathways to be laid. And now, you have many, many different kinds of pathways.

Chronic guilt serves as only one of countless examples.

When you think about it, even your 'payoff' for guilt sources itself in your subconscious pathways. So even when you WANT to end the guilt, it seems impossible. Not because you're weak or defective, but due to the nature of the subconscious.

Your subconscious seeks consistency. And the consistency is enforced by your neurological pathways. But there are ways to change. It starts by looking at your own unique payoff for feeling guilty. Understand how it contributes to the problem Then work on creating new pathways.

By creating new pathways of 'least effort' you'll naturally feel your true feelings rather than the current default of chronic guilt.

You create new pathways in two main ways:

1. Develop the habit of making powerful choices.

One powerful choice can change your life. In fact, it already has. You made many powerful choices and decisions as a child which profoundly shaped the direction of your life.

2. Work with your subconscious mind.

Your subconscious exerts a powerful influence over your life right now. It's hard to fight it. You'll be much better off working WITH your subconscious - harnessing and directing it's power.

If you feel chronic guilt, and you can't seem to change it - then you're seeing an example of the power your subconscious holds over you.

Fortunately, your subconscious can become one of your greatest allies in life. Don't fight it. Let it serve you- as it was intended to do.

To learn how to work with your subconscious, as well as learning about powerful choices, go to http://www.create-reality.com

To learn more about getting rid of guilt, go to http://emotional-times.com/2008/08/getting-rid-of-guilt.html

Mark Ivar Myhre, The Emotional Healing Wizard

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Power To Change

How do we find power for change? There are some basic practices that will help us to make meaningful changes in our lives. The power to change lies within each us. We must recognize the value of learning positive practices that will help us to make dynamic changes in our lives. The power to change is within our grasps.

Action is one of the key elements to change. We must be ready to take some kind of action for change to take place. Positive talk is good, but action must be in the picture for effective change to take place. You must have a plan of action; list your steps. Do not put your plan of actions to far out in the distance future. Taking action sooner then later will help you to feel good about your change.

Another element that supports the power to change is motivation. When we begin to take positive actions toward change we often become motivated. Motivation is like a flame that turns into a fire. Our motivation will help us to continue on the road to successful powerful changes in our lives. Motivation is a by product of right actions, if there are no right it will be hard to get motivated.

Focusing must be part of the process to having the power to change. If we are not focused, it will be hard to change. We will expend a lot of energy without the ability to focus. The ability to focus will increase our ability to make positive changes. Our power to change is related to how focused we can become. By becoming more focused we have the power to make more changes.

In positive writings and books we can find the strength, courage and power to make real changes in our lives. The set aside scriptures can be used as a main source of gaining the courage needed to accomplish this task. Let us find the time to read these types of writings. A regular habit of reading the right materials will give you the strength for powerful changes.

The power to change is within our reach; we must walk the path.

I retired from United States Navy in 2003, after serving over 21 years of enlisted active duty onboard several different ships and a few shore assignments. I am married. My wife and i have two daughters. We have two dogs, Chow Chow's, to be exact. I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Liberal Arts (Focus area Psychology) from Excelsior College class 2004. http://belwrites.com

Overcoming Limited Beliefs

Monday, June 29, 2009

The Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle

Jim Rohn has been writing and speaking on success for over 40 years. He has been called America's Foremost Business Philosopher. He does not disappoint in his little book, The Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle.

For those familiar with Rohn's work the themes and stories in this book will be mostly familiar. Even if you have heard Rohn speak you will benefit from reading this book.

Rohn approaches success through five factors, or pieces of the puzzle. They are Philosophy, Attitude, Activity, Results and Lifestyle.

Jim Rohn's chapter on Philosophy can be summed up in his quote: To have more we must first become more". He teaches that we make our own future. Like many other authors of note he stresses taking responsibility for our lives. He teaches that to have more we must be more. He reminds us to work on ourselves first and foremost to make ourselves more valuable in the market place and to achieve more. He then takes the reader down a road teaching how you can and should improve yourself so you can be more.

In his chapter on Attitude he stresses the importance of our attitude in all things. He teaches the value of being present, of learning from the past, and of applying those lessons to the future. He teaches how to plan for the future building on the lessons learned in Philosophy.

In Activity he tells us that no matter how well we plan and how clever we are if we do not act on our plans no progress can occur. All achievement is the product of our action. He stresses the need for sound planning and discipline.

In Results he discusses the measurement of what we do to learn how to improve on our results. He then discusses the importance of expanding our capacity and improving our results.

In Lifestyle Rohn points out that you do not need to be rich or powerful to enjoy life and live with a touch of class. He gives good examples of this and how to enjoy life without the need for conspicuous consumption.

In his conclusion Rohn discusses the importance of a sense of urgency in what we do. Our time is limited and our opportunities are numbered. He stresses that we must exploit that time and opportunity for once it passes it is lost. He also compares the level of success of those who have a sense of urgency with those who do not.

In these 121 short pages Jim Rohn teaches many of the most important principles of success and achievement. This little book is worth its weight in gold.

1991 Jim Rohn
Dickinson Press Inc.
Southlake, Texas

Daniel R. Murphy -- helping people build wealth through self education and development. For more Free Special Reports and other information leading to personal success and financial independence visit http://www.books2wealth.com.

Check out what we have to offer. Sign up for the free ezine, Creating True Wealth, bringing you book reviews and helpful articles twice per month to help you build wealth, manager your time and achieve success. You will secure your future through your continued education and self improvement.

Discovering Spirit And Sound

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Mind Reading Tricks - 3 Amazing Mind Reading Tricks You Can Easily Do to Impress People

Mind reading tricks are not solely for those gifted with ESP anymore. There are ways to get around that inborn gift clause thanks to the power of Science and observation!

But what purpose do mind reading tricks serve? Well, knowing what's on other people's mind can be pretty convenient when it comes to closing a deal or making a decision regarding a relationship. If you're interested to learn more, read on!

Mind Reading Tricks Number 1: Enlarged Pupils

Alright, so you don't have ESP. But you were born with eyes, remember? Use your powers of observation and focus on the pupils of the person you're talking to.

When their pupils enlarge, that means they are interested in what you have to say or in your personality. It's a positive thing so you can merrily continue doing what you were doing.

Mind Reading Tricks Number 2: How Close Can You Get

Mind reading tricks are most evident when two people know each other very well. It's like saying you're so close to that person you can even read their mind.

Well, the logic behind this concept is that you have been observing this person for a long time already. You know the mood swings, the attitude and the preferences of that person.

So when something is bothering your close friend or family member, you already have a pretty good idea of what's on their mind.

Mind Reading Tricks Number 3: Priming People

Another way to get around ESP and exercise mind reading tricks is through priming. When you prime people, you already have a basic idea of what they're going to do. You set them thinking of something related to the main question you want to pose to them later on.

For example, if you drill people on the importance of the environment and then ask them which candidate they're going to vote for, they would most likely go with the candidate who cares more about the environment. But you should already have predicted that.

Mind reading tricks can be very fun to apply. They can help you make all the right moves and even amaze the people around you.

Now you can easily amaze anyone with 11 secret mind reading tricks you can easily perform, and easily make people do anything you want using proven mind control techniques.

Win Your Lover Back Through Positive Thinking

Even if you have come to the point where a break-up is inevitable, you can still win your lover back. Just look around - people make up every day and there are plenty of couples, who had survived rough times and lived happily ever after.

The key is not to lose your positive attitude and ability to see things in an optimistic light. Now, this might sound as rubbish to you, if you are overwhelmed by pain, confusion and despair. But if in the range of emotions you feel right now there is also determination to win your lover back, you have to get hold of yourself. You will not save your relationship by grieving for it.

A very common mistake after a break-up is to concentrate on negative thoughts and play the blame game. Revising the past and understanding all the wrong moves you had done can be helpful in terms of learning on your mistakes. At the same time, focus on future and think what can be done to avoid the same mistakes and win your lover back.

Think about the whole break-up positively. Take it as a lesson, an experience that will eventually help you change yourself to the better. And remember - you made this relationship work in the past and you can do it again in future! Rather than on outer factors - the situation depends on you!

You should also keep in mind that it is you whom he/she considered special and chose from the crowd. So, you have all the chances to win your lover back! Seeing your positive attitude your ex will feel even more attracted to you. If there is no bitterness between you two, it will be easier to keep in touch and, eventually, start dating again.

Eliminate anything that made him/her leave you. Let your ex partner see you are a changed person now, the one he/she always dreamt to be with. Even with a slow progress, do not lose hope; do not lose your positive attitude. Be gentle and do not push your ex towards accepting you again. Let you both enjoy starting everything all over again and re-living that wonderful phase, when you become closer to each other day by day.

And, of course, there is no harm in learning some proven universal tricks and techniques of making up in order to win your lover back.

Find out how to say the right words and do the right things using my step-by-step "How to Get Back Ex" Easy System that has gotten 6000 couples back together after their break-ups!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Weight Loss Motivation Secrets

Weight Loss Motivation Secrets and Subliminal Weight Loss

Does this sound like you?

Decide to lose weight
Set a goal of how much to lose
Start new diet
Lose a few pounds
Feel really good
Have a small treat because you've done so well
Feel bad about the small treat
Promise yourself you'll start again
Start again
Give up

Weight loss is not easy. Anyone who has ever struggled with weight knows that. You know that. But it is possible.

When you first start a new weight loss regime you will be excited at the prospect of losing weight. Excited about getting back into shape, maybe buying some new clothes. You might even be excited about the new diet plan you've found that everyone is talking about.

Good intentions only take you so far and weight loss motivation is no different.

You already know how it works. Something happens that breaks your new resolve and it's one step forward and two steps back. Maybe you go out with friends from the office for a meal - you can't avoid it. Maybe you have a bad day at work and just need that familiar comfort feeling.

Whatever it is, willpower alone is not enough to keep you doing what you know you need to do to lose weight. And once you've broken the diet, you know as well as all the other dieters out there that it's really, really hard to get back into it properly.

It's very frustrating, especially if you've been through this routine before. Does it mean you lack willpower? No. Do you lack discipline? No.

What it means is that you may need some help to focus your mind on the right thing. The right thing to focus on is gaining a trim, slim vibrant body. Once you focus on that your mind takes over and knows how to achieve it. Once you give your mind the right instructions you start to move towards what you want, instead of away from what you don't want.

Most people trying to lose weight are concentrating on the negative aspects. In other words they think about what they can't eat anymore. Ever heard a dieter say "I'm not allowed that"? Ever said it yourself?

It's very easy for most of us to concentrate on the negative side of things, instead of the positive, but there are ways to change that.

You know how positive you generally feel when you first start on a new weight loss program? Well supposing you felt like that all the time. Can you imagine how much more likely you are to be successful?

Subliminal messages can give you the edge to make that change. Powerful and easy to use, subliminal messages can help keep you motivated and enthusiastic about your positive lifestyle changes.

Use what works for you. For some people it might be audio subliminal messages and for others it might be subliminal message software that works all the time you are using your computer.

One thing is sure, if you think about it, you already know that what defeats you when you're trying to lose weight is not the food. It's your mind giving in to the temptations in front of you. Change your mind and you can change your life.

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For a free report with more weight loss motivation secrets, visit easiest-weight-loss-ever.com

Friday, June 26, 2009

6 Step Guide to R-E-A-L Change

More than three weeks into 2009 you have ambitiously begun to tackle resolutions to bring forward in your life changes to enhance your quality of living, health, relationships, and many other areas. Unfortunately, at this point you might also be feeling the beginnings of your resistance to sticking to your resolutions and asking yourself why discipline and will power seems to elude you. Research and surveys indicate that there is a 75% failure rate in first attempts at resolutions. Personally, I don't make resolutions. I, also encourage others not to. Resolutions often set people up for failure. This article outlines a guide for R.E.A.L. (realistic, empowering, aligned, likely) Change that will more effectively support you in achieving your desired goals

My personal experience and experience working with others has consistently shown that there is a failure to accept that creating change does not happen overnight. Rather, change is a process with many components that includes resistance. The best way to manage resistance is to accept that it may very well be inevitable, and plan for it.

In George Leonard's book Mastery, he brilliantly defines homeostasis, specifically, in regards to human beings and the change process. The dictionary defines homeostasis as the tendency for a system (particularly of higher animals) to maintain stability and a state of psychological equilibrium obtained when tension or a drive has been reduced or eliminated. What does this have to do with your new year's resolutions? A lot! What this means is that your physical and psychological system fights to maintain what it perceives as normal or balanced; hence, comfortable. However, in order to really change and grow you have to move beyond your comfort zone. And yes, sometimes moving beyond your comfort zone to create desired change includes sweat and tears.

There are times when I walk into the gym and there is a loud voice in my head yelling, "Oh God, do we have to workout today?!? Can't we just go home, get back in front of the computer and keep writing?" At times it seems it would be so much easier to turn around and leave than actually get through my workout, and on occasion, I have turned around and walked out. However, I also know that this is exactly the resistance that needs to be managed. I know that if I can move beyond that voice, put on my workout clothes, get on the floor and start lifting weights that the voice goes away, my energy goes up, and I am grateful I didn't leave. Also, in order to achieve the results I want from my workouts I have to push my muscles beyond their comfort zone and perceived normalcy. And you know what? It hurts! Sometimes I just don't want to keep pushing. But again, I know that it is moving beyond homeostasis; stretching beyond my comfort zone, that supports my growth on all levels. In addition, the gym is one vivid example of how consistency and discipline in the face of seeming discomfort helps produce results.

Below I've outlined a plan for you that will support you in creating R.E.A.L. Change:

1. Set Goals and Intentions, NOT resolutions

Setting goals and intentions is a more complex process than simply stating a resolution. This includes mapping the big picture and breaking your larger goal into R.E.A.L. actions. R.E.A.L. actions are realistic, empowering, aligned with your overall goal, and likely to be done. For instance, if you're beginning a new workout routine (ideally with a trainer) and have barely set foot in a gym for the past 6 months you're not going to immediately start bench pressing 200 pounds. Rather, you break the goal of 200 pounds into R.E.A.L. actions. This might include starting with 90 pounds, stretching yourself beyond your comfort zone and continuing to work your way up in weight until you eventually reach your desired target of bench pressing 200 pounds.

2. BYOB

BYOB means bust your outdated beliefs. If your goal is to attract a new relationship and you have unconsciously held onto an old negative belief that "Men are unavailable, and uninterested in commitment," this could sabotage your success. Enlist the necessary support to uncover and update the unconscious negative patterns and beliefs that are getting in the way of you achieving your desired results.

3. Schedule Time

Perhaps you have decided that you want to release some undesired weight this year, which includes a workout routine. It does not serve you to arbitrarily throw a specific number of workouts onto your calendar. I see people do this all the time. They say, "I plan to get to the gym 5 times a week." Actually, they don't really plan anything, which sets themselves up for failure. When they do finally pull out the calendar and take a realistic look at how much time they really have, they find that they can only get to the gym 3 times per week. This is a critical element for success as it informs the goal. For instance, knowing that they can only get to the gym three times a week instead of six informs how long it will take to realistically drop the weight.

4. Implement Support Systems

Who said you have to do it alone? I strongly encourage you to enlist the support of a friend, coach, partner, etc. who you fully inform about your intention. Ask this person to help hold you accountable by checking in with you regularly. Invite them to specifically ask what you have accomplished and what your plans for future action are during the check-in. A support system can also include non-people support. For instance, meditating or keeping a journal can be very supportive tools to help get you through the challenging moments on your path to success.

5. Plan for resistance

It is quite likely that you will hit some bumps along the way. Life happens, and as previously illustrated, we have a natural inclination to maintain comfort and normalcy. However, if you know this ahead of time you can plan to manage it. Simply being aware that this is a likely phenomenon will support you in moving through it when it shows up. I even encourage you to ask yourself what some of your typical resistance patterns are (i.e. procrastination, distractions, over committing to things that will pull your attention) and set up resources to manage yourself. I now have two computers. One of them is strictly for work and I have made an agreement with myself that when I am on the "work" computer I will not engage in frivolous online surfing that encourages distraction and procrastination.

6. Celebrate Milestones

I know for me it easy to get into the mindset of always feeling like I must do more and constantly do what appears to take me closer to success. However, sometimes moving closer towards success means taking a break and acknowledging yourself for what you have accomplished. It is easy to overlook current accomplishments when we have not yet reached the goal. However, it is the little accomplishments along the way that are the true success. The goal in and of itself is just a destination. So acknowledge yourself, set up times for personal celebration and doing what you love. For me, something as simple as going to the theater can be a celebration. I love the theater. Going to the theater is a gift to me and so when I have theater tickets I am even more driven to achieve little successes. This way going to the theater is truly a gift and a way for me to acknowledge myself for what I have accomplished.

You can create change for yourself! But it doesn't happen overnight, and it doesn't occur in a vacuum. It occurs amidst the sometimes chaotic glory of our every day existence. Therefore, it is critical to intentionally set yourself up for success by implementing support systems, plans, and celebration. In addition, be good to yourself, particularly when the change you are striving for gets uncomfortable. And remember, embracing what is unfamiliar or uncomfortable can indeed result in some of your greatest breakthroughs to having the life you desire.

Jason Mannino, MA, is a Life/Career Coach, and writer. He is deeply committed to empowering people to courageous action that propels them into living lives that are inspired, balanced, and fulfilling personally and professionally.

Jason has a decade of experience in Corporate and Executive Recruiting, consulting for the Walt Disney Company, Warner Bros., TV Guide, Ascent Media, Universal Music, and University of Southern California. He is well equipped to strategically support people in their career growth and transitions as many are currently experiencing. As the recent founder of Los Angeles based A.C.T.ion Centered Transformation he helps clients transform their lives and careers through one-on-one coaching and his seminars: The Call to Self Discovery, The Call to A.C.T.ion, The Mating Call, and Beautiful Mind, Beautiful Body

Jason is featured every Friday in the Living section of Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jason-mannino and is a contributing author in the new Thank God I book series, which has reached #1 on amazon.com. He is an active member of International Federation of Coaches and International Association of Coaches and participates on the LA Leadership Council of Out & Equal SoCal. Jason holds a BA from Rutgers University in Psychology and is completing his MA in Spiritual Psychology at University of Santa Monica, Spring '09.

You can learn more about Jason and A.C.T.ion Centered Transformation by going to http://www.jmannino.com